Cry Baby Taxpayers

August 8th, 2007

Most Americans don’t mind paying taxes.

For years I didn’t file tax returns. I wasn’t making that much money. I figured if I did file I’d get the money back anyway which wasn’t very much so I just let April 15th slide by like a smooth cruise.

The IRS caught up to me. My eyeballs exploded from my sockets like the wolf in the Warner Bros. cartoon that sees a hot looking babe. For a piddly amount in taxes owed, something less than a couple of 1,000 dollars, I had interest tacked on that brought the bill to an astonishing $10,000. It took five years to pay off the debt with monthly payments that had to be made on time. And when the last dollar was paid back I had to sign a federal document that stated I would never be late on my taxes ever again.

I hear a lot of people bitching about taxes. The complaint ends with, “if taxes don’t go down we’ll have to move out of the state.” So………move.

What’s so disastrous about somebody who spends time whining on radio talk shows moving out of state? Well, goes the theory, if more people move out we’ll be left with nothing. So be it. But until we’re all gone, the tax situation won’t change. And it’s as simple as that. All the pissing and moaning isn’t going to change a thing.

I know that my tax dollar will go to pay off politicians and crooked deals and pay for things to be “inspected” but never repaired. I know that public employees will be followed around by media snoops who could do all of us a service by following around the people who handle our retirement accounts to see if these advisors are getting loaded at lunchtime over at the Capitol Grill. I don’t care if a guy who supervises state workers has a beer at a bar at lunchtime. Or hangs out with his buddies for a couple of hours. He’s not in charge of my money. But I do care if someone who makes decisions about my 401k is getting blasted on mojitos over a lunch of fresh salmon and grilled asparagus.

It’s easy for media Don Quixotes to go after little money. It’s much more of a task to go after big money, which of course the cowardly, bottom-line feeding media crusaders stay away from for fear of repercussions from upstairs.

Taxes are unfairly assessed for those of us who can’t afford to lobby for deductions for the rest of us, instead of just a few of us who can afford to bribe politicians to lower their rates in return for donations fat with reelection cash. It’s a complete scam. But then so is politics. What the hell do you expect? Fairness?

So suck it up. You live in a civilization which means all kinds of people get together and try to get along and some will be treated better than others because money talks and whining about taxes walks. And when you get tired of blowing wind around about how unfair everything is take whatever dough you have left and move to Mexico. Get a condo in an ex-patriot friendly town near the Sea of Cortez. Stop by my kayak shop and say hello. I’ll be the guy with the suntanned hide in swim trunks behind the counter. And I’ll be there because I can’t afford to live here either.

See ya.

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