Get Naked/You Lose

September 18th, 2007

Don’t you dare go around the inside of your own home naked. Especially in front of the kids. God forbid the kids see you naked. You know what happens to kids who see their parents in the nude? They go crazy. Their eyes bug out from their sockets. They start masturbating every chance they get. They turn out to be junkies, molesters, and sex perverts.

They shoot drugs and drink hard liquor. They end up bums and derelicts. They sleep in alleys, propped up against piles of filthy litter and rotting garbage. That’s what happens to kids who see their parents naked. Do you want your kids to end up cross-eyed and out of it in a dumpster? Well do you?

Put some clothes on. Don’t be like Britney Spears, that harlot. How dare she parade around naked in front of her own innocent children. Children who themselves have been intimate with the vagina of Ms. Spears. That’s right. These two children came out of the most intimate part of her body. And now she dares show her vagina to the kids who came out of it?

What shall the rest of the world think of us if we go around naked in front impressionable youth? Especially our own children? Shame on her for daring to take off her clothes in her own home. Her ex-husband, Kevin Federline says she does it all the time. And not only is she naked but she’s naked and doing drugs. Federline wants custody of those two kids because as he told the court, “ I never take my clothes off, ever. Not even in my own home. If I go swimming in the pool, I wear a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Even in the shower, I’ve got my clothes on.”

I say give K-Fed custody of the kids. And even though he’ll be a billionaire rolling in child support dollars from Ms. Spear’s estate, he of course, has no ulterior motive but to give those kids the righteous upbringing in values and civility that only a male chorus line dancer can give. Certainly far superior to the lewd, lascivious behavior of his former wife, the now disgraced former pop star slut/ drug addict, Britney Spears.

Not only has her career crashed , but her once glamorous star that shined so bright from the center of the arena has lost its lustrous, luminous aura. In its place we are left with a national trash stamp that deserves to be shamed until she kills herself.

Only then we will have room on the scaffold for the next celebrity that dares shatter the image so many in ignorance worshipped as they would a God. While piling her altar with stacks of money and admiration in hopes of her backtracked blessings, Ms. Spears was behind the scenes, fouling that very image by shooting massive amounts of pure street drugs into her once fabulous buttocks.

We saw those buttocks on parade at a recent awards ceremony. Soon, we won’t have to view that abomination anymore. Hopefully it won’t be long before a long lonely night in L.A. without her kids causes Ms. Spears to assess the value of her ongoing mortality. We can only hope.


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