Britney’s Loss is Nobody’s Gain

October 2nd, 2007

I feel sorry for Britney Spears. She loses custody of her kids because of a perception in the media concerning her lifestyle. If it wasn’t all over the net and on MSNBC, Brit might still have the brats with her instead of handing them over to one of the most disgusting gigolos in Hollywood. How this putz maneuvered custody and consequently millions in child support payments has got to be a special event taught in law school lecture halls all over America.

By branding her a harlot on drugs and drink, Britney joins the rest of the American unfortunates who have had their children taken into custody despite no apparent harm or abandonment by the custodial parent.

K-Fed has fathered his share of illegitimates and how this waste of breath gets sliced a piece of the Spears entertainment fortune is stunning in its’ stupidity and authoritarian bluster. How dare Brit go out at night unescorted. How dare she flaunt her exposed genitals to anxious paparazzi. Did you know she does drugs behind a curtain held up by her bodyguard who testifies that he peeked and saw her doing those drugs? What kind of drugs? Librium, Alprazolam , Lipitor, Cymbalta, a quick speedball? C’mon pal. You were fired and now you’re sore and looking for payback.

Britney’s woes won’t go away any time soon. The press is parked in the driveway of her wayward stroll through Hollywood’s maddened environs, ready to record any and all slips of tongue or step or invisible underpants. If she doesn’t go into a nunnery soon and repent, there’s a good chance she could end up on the death row of celebrity much as Fatty Arbuckle did after a night of underage debauchery.

That would be unfortunate because that means that justice now decides to tilt in favor of a buzz cut chorus boy who’s spread enough sperm around the boulevards of Sunset Strip to qualify his entire body for a Superfund renovation. But his ass hasn’t gotten fatter, and he’s free of stretch marks. That counts for a lot in today’s bizarre circus of legalized brutalization of anyone willing to live outside the bounds of accepted respectability. Too bad Brit. Better body, better luck. Slip into that mantra and watch how magically things change in an America that doesn’t even know where it is anymore.

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