Hooverland

December 23rd, 2007

Gee, what a fucking surprise. J. Edgar Hoover, the fascist drag queen too scared of the Mob to do anything but pull the pud of his male lover, decided that people he didn’t like ( people like you and me) belonged in Federal prison camps.

Why? Hoover used the excuse that the only people he’d lock up behind barbed wire in extermination facilities were those radicals who appreciated political diversity or were “dangerous to the American Way of Life”. If you were a Commie you were dead. If you criticized Amerika’s obsession to go to war whenever the people weren’t paying attention you were gone. In the middle of the night.

It could be anyone of us. Anyone who stepped on the toes of this unamerican tyrannical asshole. And while he hid his lover behind his badge and called him his “secretary”, Hoover was plotting along with his syncophants in the Congress to imprison us for anything from serving him a dismal meal in an expensive restaurant to criticism, written or otherwise, of his cunning plot to take over the government of the United States.

Few people know this but Hoover considered the Constitution to be an infringement on his liberty to police the country in the manner he deemed most effective. He despised the writ of habeus corpus, the right to seek relief from illegal detention. Hoover felt the writ, seven centuries old, prohibited him from locking up anyone he wanted to whether or not there was any evidence as to the persons guilt. Hoover wanted to imprison Jack Kennedy. The same JFK that lay on a slab in a Dallas morgue after someone put a bullet through his brain. Insiders who were there with Hoover when Walter Cronkite broke the news to a confused electorate, said the Director of the FBI was overjoyed that “another Communist had been laid to rest”.

Imagine. The POTUS is put to sleep and the nation’s chief fascist nanny giggled. Then, after a long day of keeping track of over 12,000 people he personally wanted to throw into concentration camps, this queen went home with his secretary in tow and celebrated the death of John F. Kennedy with a martini and a blowjob.

Now…..here comes the scary part of this motherfucker’s agenda.

He persuaded Congress and Harry ” The Fuck Stops Here” Truman to go along with his takeover plan. In 1950, Congress passed and the president signed a law authorizing the detention of dangerous radicals forever if the president declared a national emergency which could include too many teen pregnancies or a rise in the number of people objecting to the creepy American two-party system. In Truman’s world, he did declare an emergency when China jumped feet first into the Korean War. That law is still in effect, but no president has ever used it. George W. Fuckup could have used it after 9/11 and still might if he finds out about it. But it’s been under the covers so long the Demo-fascists and the Republi-nazis have forgotten it’s there.

Not for long though. As Amerika goes off the track and the economy of the universe moves to China, this country will explode. Into poverty, into joblessness, and into chaos as citizens demand more than a one party system of corporate fed pigs and millionaire monarchs. As long as Amerika is more obsessed by the New England Patriots attempt to establish an NFL all time winning streak or which celebrity steak should be seared in the cast iron fryer of media morality, that law will remain a hobgoblin hiding under the bed.

Hoover’s plan has merit however when you figure the Disney company has to make the water trough deeper in the Small World boat ride because overweight Amerika is pushing the boats closer to the bottom. Sinking under their own trans fat free gluttony.

In Hoover’s Federal death camps at least 12,000 people, and certainly more once the Clintonistas or the Guiliani-stapo get wind of it, will shed pounds while being fed a daily diet of water, soup greens, and sunlight.

And while there won’t be enough poor people to ding-a-ling the little bell on Disneyland’s dime, there will be enough bajillionaires to keep the parks open. And if not, then Disney can order those awaiting eternal trial under illegal detention to pay whatever falls out of their pockets or saving accounts to keep the lights on and the juice flowing until they figure something else out. Perhaps those on good behavior with little gold stars dangling on chains around their necks, or others with enough funds to afford bribery, can live out their lives in a quaranteened corporate kiddy land.

Just don’t go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Some say, just like the gas chambers at Buchenwald, once you go in, you don’t come out.

Hooverland doesn’t work that way.


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