March 30th, 2014

Vladimir Putin could give a cats ass about March Madness. It’s the reason the Russians have beat us up on foreign policy ever since the Yalta group therapy session following the ragged epilogue of World War Number Two.

Putin had the Ukraine/Crimea fiasco under his thumb as Barry Obama shagged golf balls on a tropical course in Hawaii while his wife went off and lectured the rest of us on what we should or should not eat.Putin was more than eight chess moves ahead of the ineffectual Secretary of State John Kerry who’s hairdo enters the room before he does. The American people didn’t want him to be president so why the fuck did the low polling BOB name him Secretary of State?

Americans are obsessed with sports. The national game involves immigrants in uniforms swinging sticks at small corked balls thrown at them by a man standing on a raised mound of dirt while others guard an open field of green, some of them standing atop sandbags. Although many claim baseball to be a game of strategy, it pales before the intellectual rigor of chess, the national game of the Russians and the Duma.

As we sit on our fat asses in front of the tube and watch privileged DNA giants shoot hoops in a much vaunted month of basketball madness, 80 thousand Russian commandoes are lined up along the border between Russia and the Ukraine waiting for the Nazi who put himself in power in Kiev to dip his toe into another confrontation with Russians living in Ukraine. Meanwhile, Americans soak up suds and fill out brackets like addicts shoot up cheap heroin. Soon, the basketball games will wind down to the Final Four where empty headed patriots will put aside their differences to see who brings home whatever gaudy trinket is handed out to the winner. Whats even more bizarre is that the National Hockey League will be firing off rubber Oreo cookies and getting into fist fights all the way into the last week in June when fans are busy fertilizing their lawns and fretting over crabgrass.

To say most Americans are clueless consumers of crap while the rest of the world roller blades into the 21st century is putting it mildly. Americans don’t read books, don’t know their elected officials are crooks, have no idea where Uganda is, and don’t say squat about the cost of sending their kids to college.The only way America will survive the new century is move to the moon. Our time as a great nation has come to a close which isn’t a bad thing because from here on out we might be able to save a few bucks and maybe even put millions of our own citizens back to work. Ukraine is no more important to us than Cancun when it comes to worldwide political polo yet we’re willing to send them a billion bucks while whacking the amount of food stamps hungry people in our own country rely on to keep themselves vertical. Fuck the final four. Fuck the NHL, and fuck America’s loopy addiction to professional and college sports. I’m in Georgia now, the home of the Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech and the rest of the nation’s goobers as well.

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