You Figure It Out

July 28th, 2008

People who gather information on the likes and dislikes of the American people must take a lot of pills at the end of the day just to shut down the nonsense running in circles inside their minds. Trying to figure out the American people is like figuring out where the tiny little nuts and bolts fit in the pan underneath an 8000 horsepower nitro car. None of the statistics seem in sync with any of the other rubble that’s scattered on the table of The Great American People Puzzle.

A train wreck of information from the national Gallup poll shows why. Nearly 50% of the American people believe we have no chance of winning the Iraq war, whatever the hell that means. At the same time, most Americans surveyed believe religion should be closely aligned with our government, more so in fact than Iranians do regarding religious influence in their own government. At the same time, Americans believe that religion is losing its influence here in America while gaining in Iran.

By a large margin, Americans think spending tax dollars on national defense is a great idea and have no qualms about keeping the military rolling in dough. At the same time, 67% of Americans do not believe the United States should attack another nation unless they attack us first. Most Americans think a terrorist attack in the next few months is highly unlikely, even though they believe the Iraq war has made us less safe from terrorist attacks.


A huge percentage of those surveyed believe America is drowning in a cesspool of immorality, yet most believe divorce and sex between unmarried single people is just fine. Single women having children outside marriage is acceptable to most of us as well. Stem cell research obtained from human embryos is acceptable by 64% of all adults.

81% of all Americans believe our environment is on the verge of collapse and must be fixed immediately. Less than 50% are in favor of homosexual marriage. 7 in 10 believe handguns should be available to anyone qualified to own one and that the death penalty is more than acceptable. 8 in 10 people believe in God but endorse safe, legal abortions.

And despite all the bluster of uninformed cretins, only 8% of the American people give a rip about illegal immigration. They’re more concerned about the value of their retirement dollars than an illegal from Guatemala mowing their front lawn.

Keep this information handy when the attack ads ramp up for this fall’s presidential sweepstakes. See which side distorts these stats, then vote for their opponent. 78% of American voters vote against someone rather than for someone. I know I do. And I’ll bet you do too.

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