Serious Solutions for Funny People

September 4th, 2008

Our “so serious we haven’t farted for months”, state, local, and national governments find themselves in a jam they can’t crawl out of. After coughing up their easily inhaled ethics to the Big Money that finances their profitable cabal of extortionists, elected officials know nothing about the American people who will vote them into office in just a few weeks.

So they pay for polling data. They form policy decisions based on those results. John McCain didn’t choose his vice presidential running mate, his advisors did. He wanted Lieberman. They said no. McCain backed down. Not a peep of protest from the P.O.W. superhero.

He doesn’t know what we think and do and say in our daily lives. He doesn’t live with us. Neither does Bill or Hillary or Barack or Biden. Sarah Palin is just a slick cornpone red herring, a tightly wound Disney cartoon no more symbolic of America at its best than the podium she uses as a shield while she hurls dirt bombs at her opponents. No mention of policy, infrastructure rebuilding, or “ a rendezvous with destiny” during these frightening economic times. No eloquence of thought or solution. Just prudish, nagging pandering to the dull sense of purpose serious people have who conveniently forget that liberals haven’t had congressional power in this country since the founding fathers died off.
Lighthearted people have different visions. Taking life seriously at any moment in your brief existence diminishes personal joy. You want change? Make Putin laugh. Hold the microphone in your hand and use the art of stand-up when you speak in Berlin. Crack jokes, not against your opponent but about yourself. Kneel down and say hello to small children. Don’t wear a long sleeved shirt with pants and a cell phone clipped to your belt. Wear sneakers and jeans and a short sleeved shirt from the Gap. Sunglasses too. Have some fun. Speak from your heart. Don’t have William Kristol write your vice presidential acceptance speech as Palin did.

John McCain won’t be writing his own speech either. One of those 12 advisors will do it for him. The same ones who told him to get stuffed when he suggested Lieberman and they picked Palin. The same ones with the serious solutions and serious consequences for a nation full of people that just want to have a good laugh, a good life, and a few good rolls in the hay once and a while. More of that and less of them is the destiny we seek, not the destiny they demand.

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