September 12th, 2008

Those traveling to Amsterdam to smoke cannabis, get laid, eat mushrooms, and look forward to the day when the rest of Western civilization finally gts the marching orders to go fuck themselves, can enjoy smoking in coffeeshops just like it was before the tobacco ban slammed European cafe’ society in the ass with punitive American puritanism.

No one I know except my European and Arab friends smoke pot with tobacco rolled in each spliff. We smoke what Europeans call “pure”. that is, we smoke cannabis without adulterating it with anything. To those unused to doing this, our preference for pure appears to be madness. Euros look at us as Roman patricians would look upon Neaderthals had they stumbled across them in the Alps. Hairy, goateed aboriginals inhaling oily moroccan bubble hash as if it were a quart of burning Pennzoil.

Dutch citizens plan to petition the Hague to vaporize this ridiculous prohibition. Worldwide, as governments tighten up because they can, citizens find themselves not with more free time and expanded personal dimensions, but with less. What’s worse, they learn in the course of pissing and moaning about it that there’s not a goddamned thing they can do about it. Except the Dutch. When you fuck with Dutch trade, and that includes the right to rack your business any way you see fit, you fuck with their income. While other subordinate nations might suck it up to life as we all know it, the Dutch take more drastic action.

They ignore the fucking law.

Or they take people to court and tie up the government and get things delayed until they make the point that this is not going to be abided and that if the cops fuck with them too much, they’ll hit the local city councils and bounce the sitting members so far back into Tooterville you wont even remember what they looked like.

Thats not to say some won’t escape the fall. Cops worldwide are always under orders to watch certain scofflaws in order to make an example out of them. They do this because they know they can’t beat the will of the people. Rile the people too much and they’ll tear into your fascist ass like Wolverines.

Unless you live in America. Americans have now reached a level of such societal stupidity, so obscene, that nothing like it is listed anywhere in history’s actuarial catalogues of national meltdowns. Children lack basic educational skills. Almost no one speaks two languages. People believe history is the way Walt Disney says it is. The way John Wayne fought at Iwo Jima . Few people read. Newspapers are going out of business. Women read 65% of all fiction and non-fiction. The media is afraid that if it shows any balls at all, corporate America will cut off their funding and they’ll sink into the abyss of the unemployed.

But we can all still get on a plane and fly to Amsterdam and smoke pure and amaze European skeptics with our lack of dignity, arrogant positioning, and malignant manners.

And if you elect John McCain and Annie Oakley to run the country, you can kiss your economic ass goodbye because what will happen is the world’s investors, still hanging on to hope that America can shape up, will ship out once these two rancid examples of a nation on the brink of extinction take command.

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