Undecided Idiots

October 27th, 2008

Anyone who hasn’t decided who they’re going to vote for in the election next Tuesday is an idiot. It’s that simple. You’re either unread, old, or mentally infirm.

Look genius, there’s two guys running for president. One is an untested young black guy and the other is an untested old white man. Neither have ever been president. Spending 7 years as a POW in Vietnam doesn’t anymore qualify you to run the country than does getting out the vote on social issues in the urban squall of South Side Chi-Town.

What most voters will do is pick the person who offers the best way out of this mess, even if there isn’t one. Will a 72 year old, befuddled jet jockey of privilege who was too cocky to realize he was dumping 27 million bucks worth of fighter aircraft right into the middle of Saigon during rush hour do the job, or will a much smoother, easy tempered young guy with no Washington street cred handle it better?

I’m going for the black guy. Of course he’s half white, so if black people aren’t your thing, vote for the white half. And those who want McCain, good luck. He’ll last just long enough for Palin to step in and yank us kicking and screaming back to the dark ages of the Beehive hair salon in Wasilla Alaska.

Neither of these guys knows what to do. No president ever does. The best we can hope for is that, like JFK, they’re well educated enough to bring the best and the brightest and the least greedy into the tepee to untangle this boondoggle. McCain with his 13 cars, 8 homes, and corporate jet courtesy of his wife ,who ,by the way wore $33,000 dollars worth of clothes and jewelry when she endorsed her husband at the convention , could put together a team of good guys to do the math if he only knew any good guys. When you roll with a robo-wife and a string of shady money making deals dragging along like toilet paper stuck on your shoe, it’s unlucky you’ll have the solution to anything.

If at this point you’re undecided, don’t vote. Seriously. If the events of the past couple of months haven’t turned on your pilot light, you don’t have one. My advice is to watch the NFL next Monday night and play fantasy footsie on Tuesday instead of participating in the democratic process. The country will be better off and so will you. It’s time idiots stayed behind a grade or two instead of moving on to graduation with the rest of us.

The Undecided. 16 months ago wisdom was your badge of honor. Today,” Idiot” is written on the note you wear pinned to your mittens.


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