An Open Letter to Bush

November 24th, 2008

Why in Hell did you want to be President? Was it boring down there in Crawford running a state like Texas into the ground? You’re lazy, dumb as a tube of glue, and could care less about shattered lives and broken dreams. You’re heartless and immune to human suffering. You smile belies treachery, not empathy. You seem to think it’s funny to tease powerful people because you know they can’t hit smack you back . You’ve been surrounded all your life with privilege and protected by your family’s wealth and power. When things get tough, and financial markets collapse, you jump on your mountain bike and pedal off into Bushland, a magical kingdom inside your empty skull. You disdain reading newspapers. And though you say you’ve read several books, there isn’t a human being in the White House who ever saw you reading anything. Not a book, a briefing report, or a bill to be signed. In fact, insiders say you had no idea a mental health care measure was included in the bailout bill because you never read it.

You’re America’s anti-Christ, the Beast so many of your fellow born-again nitwits warn against. This morning, when the market was up 300 points, you and Paulson came on and talked for 5 minutes about the economy.

The Dow fell over 40 points after your appearance.

Could you do all of us; conservative, liberal, independents, Marxists, socialists, a favor? We haven’t asked much the last 8 years because frankly you don’t give a rip. But just do us this one favor.


Just get your ass out while the gettins’ good and take that cyborg vice president with you as well. Pelosi can sit in the big chair and help Obama get ready to clean up the devastation you’ve left behind. Do something for your country for a change instead of yourself. You spent the last week in Peru doing God knows what, while the country you’re President of stumbled over so many speed bumps that we’re now on the verge of plunging into a deflated depression.

And when you do resign and look for a place to hide from angry citizens, here’s some advice George.

Go to Hell.

You’ll be comfortable down there. The rest of us recommend it. After all, our country’s been there for the last 8 years. Now, it’s your turn.

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